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found this link hidden away in my bookmarks:

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people really think up cool stuff.....

funny lot, these english......

I mentioned "dry humour" in my previous post......the British naturally have a flair for this type of humour. In fact, British humour brings out a response that is also, um, British: the chuckle.

Case 1:

A classic example of this particular brand of humour is that motoring maniac of television, Jeremy Clarkson. I was reading this article recently where he described the Suzuki Wagon R as something you ought to avoid like "you'd avoid unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite."
Apart from Top Gear, Clarkson also has this show called "Jeremy Claskson Meets the Neighbours" where he drives across Europe in his Jag and points out the hilarious eccentricities of the Euro way of life through his unique Britsh-tinted point-of-view. Whether he's describing the French as a bunch of "onion selling ne'er-do-wells" and finding out why THEY'RE so smug, or calling German motorists "donkey killers," he's so entertaining that I'm actually sad everytime the show ends. The man dedicated a whole episode to finding out if the Germans have a sense of humour. They don't, apparently.

Case 2:

Master of gastronomic spelunking, Keith Floyd. He's doing this "Floyd uncorked" thing where he travels through wine country (again, mostly Europa) de-mystifying the whole grape to bottle process as well as explaining to us less fortunate bastards what to look for in this wine or that one.
Now he occasionally invites this wine expert "JD" on the show and then proceeds to tear the seriousness of the business to shreds with the sharpest humour possible, which even poor JD, who's at the receiving end half the time, can't help laughing at.

I'm tellin ya, the british have been doing humour for so long they're much better at it than the yanks.
Chris Rock can kiss my ass.

Khosla ka Kheema

Saw "Khosla ka Ghosla" last night....heheh.....funny title...hehahahahh...

Someone finally went and made one of those "everyday life" social comedies. I'm talking about the "Katha" types where your average guy is thrown to the wolves played by the govt. officials, the cops and the land mafia. Oh man I laughed my chaddees off! I love the way Dilliwalas talk.....that alone made it worth watching. There's no slapstick, no over-the-top crap going on. Just plain old dry humour.....the kind that happens without anyone saying or doing much. Smart movie.

On to the kheema.....

I had the most amazing kheema ever a couple of weeks back, and got the recipe from the person that made it. However, mine turned out a little sweet. I'm thinking it was because I didn't sautee the onions enough. Anyway, so I learnt the hard way that kheema is the easiest meat dish to prepare, but the hardest to get just right. Then my sister enlightened me to the fact that you can make kheema in a bunch of different ways.

So guys, if you have a kheema recipe or any meat recipe for that matter, type it up and post it in the comments section. I've re-discovered the joys of the kitchen. Wish we had Food TV in India.......Bobby Flay, Jamie Oliver, Emeril......geniuses! Sanjeev Kapoor is a jackass.

another 168 hours

this week......

- Malegoan mimiced big brother Mumbai and sadly, did a great job of it
- the crocodile hunter yelled his last "crickey!" and crocs everywhere shed real tears
- Sharapova won her second grand slam title and proved again that she's not Kournikova
- Navratilova won her 59th grand slam title and proved again that she's from planet Krypton
- the Indian hockey team crapped it's pants under pressure. Again. And again. And almost.....
- Boatloads of taxpayer money wasted on endless debates about vande mataram

ctrl-c, ctrl-v

I was talking to someone today about that Harvard girl who got pulled up for plagiarism recently. I had a close shave plagiarism in college. I was taking this summer class on Italian cinema. It basically involved watching Italian classics in the afternoon and then discussing it and finally presenting a paper on your analysis. Basically we watched soft porn and then wrote about it....hehe

Now the class was taught by a really cool professor, Mario Aste. I'd initially signed up for the class for the credits - this was a guaranteed A and three credits in the basket, but I really started to enjoy the class. No, besides the sex scenes. And I don't usually have a problem with papers and the like. Then one saturday morning....

(phone rings)

keith: "dude, wake up!"

me: "uhh..."

k: "big trouble....reach Aste's office in 15 mins!"

me: "uhh.....huh?"

k: "plagiarism. nishith, you and me."

me: "???"


10 mins later.....

me: "what the hell happened??

nishith: "aste's giving us an F for copying from each other's papers."

me: "but it was you fuckers who looked at my paper and copied from it! My stuff's all original!"

n: "yeah, you're getting screwed anyway. he doesn't care who copied from whom. he's failing everyone who has similar stuff."

It took 30 mins worth of groveling and pleading before he let us off. And we had to rewrite the damn paper. Actually only I had to rewrite it......the other two were writing it for the first time....

moral: don't have dumbasses for friends.

an unfinished adventure

Steve Irwin is dead. One of the few people in the world I actually admired, not for his heroics on his show but for the message he was passing on to the millions who watched him day in and day out on Animal Planet. The last time I felt this sadness for a total stranger's death was when George Harrison passed.

I'm at a loss for words here.

formula for excellent evenings

proof that the best things in life are also the simplest......

1. squeeze 1 fresh lime into a glass
2. pour in a large measure of Bacardi Limon
3. break ice into small pieces and fill half the glass
4. top up glass with soda
5. toast and drink away

repeat steps 1 through 5 until wasted and happy.

brain wide shut

I've become a freaking insomniac. Or maybe I was a closet insomniac and finally decided to come out. So yeah, I've been coming home from work at wierd hours this past week. I'm exhausted beyond belief and too tired to even have dinner....and then I can't sleep till five in the morning. Only litres and litres of chai can get me through the next day. And oddly, when I do fall into sleep, it's with the help of Jim Carrey. I rented the "Eternal Sunshine...." DVD last week, and I've fallen asleep thrice after watching about 15 mins worth. Sure it's a critically acclaimed movie and all, but MAN the dude is dead boring when he stops making the wierd faces!! I'm sorry, watching a loser getting his brain dy-cleaned is just not much fun to watch at three a.m.

Meanwhile I've been getting in touch with old friends. Yeah, that time of the year when I start remembering the good times that were indulged in while at college. I spent 15 mins on the phone with an old friend in the US leafing through the memories. It's like drinking wine. The longer you wait before talking about it, the fonder the memory becomes. Hah! All that sentimental shite!!

But there are some traditions in the US which I liked more. Like friends taking you out and getting you drunk on your birthday is a hell of a lot of fun than having to treat everyone! We should do that here in India instead of the bloody "happy birthday! where's my treat?" thing that goes on. Then there was the barbecue where everyone hung around a grill and drank beer and talked about all kinds of crap. Here we have the kabab specialist making tikkas while people hang around and talk crap. That bonding element kinda goes missing when you throw in a dude walking around with a tray full of kakori kababs.

Hmmm.......all that food talk is doing things to my tastebuds. Hang on.

Okay, took care of the salivating issue. So yeah, must get in touch with my other carnivore brethren and dig into some mutton chops one of these days. I should write about food more frequently. Think I will.